• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

School Night Vegan

  • Recipe Index
    • All Recipes
    • Mains
    • Sides
    • Desserts
    • Snacks
    • Drinks
  • My Story
  • Hire Me
You are here: Home / Uncategorized / How to Eat Kale (and actually enjoy it!)

How to Eat Kale (and actually enjoy it!)

10/10/2019 by Richard Makin 1 Comment

How to eat kale

Not quite indoctrinated into the kale-uminati and wondering actually how to eat kale? Look no further and trust me, you don’t hate kale, you’ve just been eating it wrong!


I reckon we can divide the readers of this post into two camps: those thinking “I know how to eat kale, you doof!” and those thinking “PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO EAT KALE, YOU GENIUS!”. Regardless, y’all still need to read on. 

Despite being a lifelong veggie, recent vegan and unrepentant millennial, I never bonded with kale the way you’d expect! I never hated it, never loved it either, and once it became the poster-veg of modern veganism I lost even more interest in our brassica buddy (remember: millennial).

How to eat Kale

But of late, what with the world falling apart and stuff, I’ve made more of an effort to be open minded.
“BE the change you want to see in the world” I said to myself one day.
“I’m starting..” I proclaimed “with the man in the mirror”
“Forgive those who’ve trespassed against you” I thought, with a lump in my throat.

Now I don’t know about Michael Jackson, or Ghandi, or whoever wrote the Lord’s Prayer, but I think we all owe kale a second chance. I’m here to help you with that via the medium of blog post. 

Here are the FOUR commandments of the kale-uminati! Follow them and you’ll be a kale fan in MINUTES!

1. Know thy kale!

Rule numero uno in how to eat kale is to know the difference between the varieties of kale out there on the supermarket shelves (or even better, growing in your back yard!).

That’s right, kale newbies! Your new fave leaf comes in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colours and each variety is suited to different types of dishes. Here’s a rundown of my top three and what to use them for!

Photo from chatelaine.com

Russian Red

This guy is my go-to for salads. It’s sweet and slightly more tender in the texture department, so you won’t be chewing it for weeks like some other varieties (not naming no names CAVOLO NERO). Follow my instructions further on in this post to “massage” this kale and you’ll end up with the most gentle addition to a salad. That colour also wakes up a boring plate, much more than some soggy spinach! 

russian red kale

Cavolo Nero

This guy’s the cooker of the family! Its leaves are pretty tough and almost scaly (hence “Dino” kale) but it has a super bold, delicious flavour which can hold up to a bit of heat. So don’t be afraid to throw this guy in with a hot dish!
It works great as a side, just sautéed in vegan butter with some garlic or sweated in a lidded pan and drizzled with olive oil and sea salt. It’s also beautiful in stews, soups and curries (in place of spinach).

cavolo nero

Curly Kale

This is the most common kale out there, and for good reason! It has a good balance of flavour/texture and is the most versatile variety out there!
This is the one I use in salads (when I can’t find Russian red), smoothies, green juices and for kale chips! 

curly kale

There are a whole BUNCH of kale varieties out there and do not be afraid to experiment (especially if you’re lucky enough to be able to grow your own!) but these are the three which tend to end up in my kitchen most often.

2. Massage thy kale!

I’m almost 100% sure, if you scroll back to the early recipes on this blog, I made a handful of jokes about massaging kale. It literally sounds like something from Portlandia. I genuinely thought this was a joke for YEARS!

But this is honestly one of the most important steps in learning how to eat kale – no joke – I massage my kale now whenever I’m going to eat it raw. You simply GOTTA massage your kale. Let me tell you why, and then how.

kale before massage
Kale before massage!

Why?

As most of us know, raw kale can be one tough son of a gun! It’s no iceberg lettuce, for sure! It has a much firmer, fibrous, chewy texture and if you’re not careful, it can RUIN a perfectly good salad (not to mention MONTHS of RSI in your damn jaw!).

But it doesn’t have to be like that! Massaging kale helps to soften the leaves SIGNIFICANTLY and starts to break down that tough cell structure, making it more manageable to chew and even enhancing the flavour. 

You can even see the difference (see below!). The leaves start to turn translucent rather than opaque and they reduce in size, much like when you wilt spinach. 

Kale after massage
Kale after massage!

How?

The good thing about massaging kale is that it really couldn’t be easier. My technique has four steps to it:

  1. Wash the kale.
    Just place in a colander and rinse under the cold tap.
  2. Slice the kale.
    I like to remove the “bone” or stalk from kale as it’s super tough, so just slice it out, and set aside – I’ll tell you some ideas for these guys later. I like to slice my kale super finely, but you do you! If you like it more chunky, you go Glenn Koko! Once sliced transfer it to a bowl which is slightly bigger than you think you need.
  3. Oil and salt the kale.
    A little goes a long way here – just a tiny drizzle of oil and a pinch of flaky sea salt. The oil dresses the kale and makes it easier to work with while the salt acts as an abrasive and helps to break down those tough cell walls.
  4. Massage the kale!
    Get stuck in! The motion I use is similar to when you make a crumble and you rub the flour and butter between your finger tips. You can also do the “scrunch” method, where you just squeeze the kale in your fists repeatedly. Keep going until the kale is turning translucent and feels much softer to the touch.

Once your kale is good and softened, use it in a salad or any raw dish. If you like, you can even rinse the leaves again to get off some of the oil and salt you added, or you can just adjust your salad dressing recipe accordingly.

kale salad

3. Season thy kale!

Let’s face it, the flavour of kale is an acquired one. If you’re just now learning how to eat kale, chances are you’re not OVER THE MOON about its slightly grassy, slightly farty flavour. 

But trust and believe, once you fall in love with it, no other leaf quite hits the spot like kale does. When I first started using raw kale in salads, I used to mix things up and do half shredded lettuce/half massaged kale. Just to ease myself in, y’know. But what I learnt pretty quickly is that kale basically always needs seasoning. 

perfect kale salad

Recipe: All-purpose Kale Seasoning

After about a year of experimentation, I finally came up with my all-purpose kale seasoning which I now keep in a jar, in my cupboard at all times, ready for a-sprinklin.

It’s easy, just mix the following in a jar and give them a good shake-up.

2 tbsp nutritional yeast
1/2 tsp smoked paprika
1/4 tsp tomato powder
1/4 tsp celery salt
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
pinch coconut sugar
pinch ground black pepper

Here’s what it’s good for

  • Kale chips
    If you’re making your own kale chips, this guy adds a cheesy, smoky flavour which elevates the whole experience. Just toss your kale in some oil and some seasoning, lay out on an oven tray and bake at around 150 until crispy.
  • Steamed or sauteed kale.
    If you’re planning on cooking your kale, this stuff works great too! My favourite thing to do is to whip this seasoning into some vegan butter and top the cooked kale with a good scoop while still warm. As the butter melts, it releases all that extra flavour and takes your boring side-dish from drab to FAB!
  •  Massaged kale.
    And finally, why not top your salad with this seasoning. Once you’ve massaged your kale, sprinkle some of this magic dust over your leaves to elevate that flavour daaahling.
How to eat kale

4. Waste no kale!

One of the reasons I used to be so kale averse was because I thought it was a wasteful veg. I’d prep a salad only to be left with loads of kale stalks which I had no idea how to eat.

Well let me tell you TONIGHT! EAT THOSE STALKS! They’re delicious and versatile and just need a little TLC to be turned into the star of the show. Here are some of my all-time fave kale-stalk recipes to help you waste-not want-not!

Kale Stem Pesto
from Love and Lemons
The key behind making this recipe work is to BLANCH those stems! This means giving them a tiny blast boil in some water before blitzing them into your pesto. I’d recommend throwing in some nutritional yeast in this recipe in place of the optional cheese. Trust me, I’ve tried it. It’s very nice!
Recipe here!

Kale Smoothie
from Mindful Avocado
The best thing about high-speed blenders is that they BLEND STUFF! I like to save all my kale stems by chopping them up finely and popping them in a little tub in the freezer. Next time you fancy a green smoothie, just chuck and handful of stems in there too and away you go. Almost any green smoothie recipe will work, but I love pineapple, so this is my go-to. Just ignore the bit about the kale being “de-stemmed”. 
Recipe here! 

Kale Stem Crackers
from James Beard Foundation
These guys are VERY delicious and honestly nothing feels better than making a snack-food out of food-waste! This recipe isn’t vegan but it’s easily veganised! Just swap out the butter for a good, vegan alternative. For the buttermilk, I used soy milk with a tbsp of apple cider vinegar added. Leave it to thicken for a minute or two and you’re good to go!
Recipe here!


Now you’re a member of the kale-uminati, you’ll want to get stuck into some kale recipes! Why not follow some of these guys below:

  • Cavolo Nero Vegan Bolognese
  • Sweet Potato Gnocchi with Garlic Cavolo Nero
  • Bucatini with Kale and Pangritata

Disclosure: some of the links above are affiliate links, meaning at no additional cost to you, I may earn commission when you click through and make a purchase.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Previous Post: « No Bake Vegan Cheesecake – Chocolate Hazelnut Flavour!
Next Post: Vegan Garlic Knots »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sue Makin

    27/10/2019 at 14:24

    Love this article.
    So much great info. I’m certainly gonna do more with kale xxx

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Follow School night vegan

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

My name’s Richard Makin and I’m the School Night Vegan.

I’ve been exploring the world of plant-based cuisine since November 2017 when I switched from life-long vegetarian to full-time vegan! Read More…

  • All Recipes
  • Sides
  • Mains
  • Dessert
  • Snacks
  • Drinks

Why not try…

vegan mac and cheese bites

Vegan Mac and Cheese Bites

vegan twice baked potatoes

Vegan Twice Baked Potatoes

steamed scallion buns

Steamed Scallion Buns (Hua Juan)

donut recipe chocolate creme filled donut

Vegan Donut Recipe – Chocolate Creme Filled!

PRIVACY POLICY

Footer

schoolnightvegan

🌿Anything you can cook, I can cook vegan⁣⁣⁣🌿
He/Him⁣ • Food Editor @wickedhealthy⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ • Column @olivemagazine⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

Richard Makin
NEW RECIPE: CASHEW TOFU STIR FRY!⁠ Wrap your eye NEW RECIPE: CASHEW TOFU STIR FRY!⁠
Wrap your eyeball holes around this fakeaway! Chuck on some steamed rice and you’re set for din din! Easy pipsy!!⁠
⁠
Tap the link in my bio or head to the @wickedhealthy blog for the recipe!⁠
⁠
#vegan #veganstirfry #stirfry #tofu #tofustirfry
I’ve done permanent damage to my brain this last I’ve done permanent damage to my brain this last week trying to figure out Tik Tok so it feels REALLY BLOODY LOVELY to come back here and post AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF FOOD!⁠
⁠
And not just ANY food! It’s the eighth wonder of the food world - VEGAN MAC AND CHEESE BITES! ⁠
⁠
They’re OBNOXIOUSLY creamy and crispier than you thought the laws of physics would allow! GIVE THEM A TRY NAYSAYERS! You’ll be YAYSAYERS in no time!⁠
⁠
Tap the link in my bio for recipe!⁠
⁠
#vegan #vegansnacks #macandcheese #veganmacandcheese #veganfood #veganchef
Wanna know how soft these VEGAN GARLIC BUTTER ROLL Wanna know how soft these VEGAN GARLIC BUTTER ROLLS are?? When I was 13 I did a presentation to my entire class about the acoustic guitar and when the teacher asked me what you pluck a guitar string with I panicked and said “scrotum”. Imagine what my legs did when I realised my mistake... THATS how soft these rolls are.⁠
⁠
While we’re all here in this anxiety focus group TELL ME WHATS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING YOU EVER DID AT SCHOOL! Sharing is healing!⁠
⁠
Recipe on the blog - tap the link in my bio!⁠
#vegan #veganfood #veganbaking #garlicbuns #garlicrolls #veganchef #baking #comfortfood
LET'S PLAY BLANKETY BLANK (aka Match Game for the LET'S PLAY BLANKETY BLANK (aka Match Game for the Americans, Snatch Game for the gays 💕). Finish this sentence:⁠⁠
⁠⁠
School Night Vegan is so proud of his vegan burger recipe, he decided to change the job title on his business cards top [BLANK] ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
ANSWERS IN THE COMMENTS! 10 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN FOR BEST ANSWER!⁠⁠
RECIPE ON THE BLOG - TAP THE LINK IN MY BIO!⁠⁠
⁠⁠
#vegan #veganburger #veganchef #burger
Like one of these VEGAN MOROCCAN SPICED MEATBALLS Like one of these VEGAN MOROCCAN SPICED MEATBALLS I’m rolling into this week with joy and gay abandon!⁠
⁠
Have you ever seen an anxious vegan meatball?? No! Me neither! And that’s why I’m choosing it as my attitude model for this week - I’ll be wearing faux ruby earrings to emulate the pomegranate seeds because I’m dedicated to my craft.⁠
⁠
GET THE RECIPE ON THE @wickedhealthy BLOG or tap the link in my bio!⁠
⁠
#vegan #veganmeatballs #vegancooking #veganrecipe #moroccanmeatballs #meatballs #veganchef #schoolnightvegan
Ok people - What’s the BEST PASTA SAUCE?⁠ ⁠ Ok people - What’s the BEST PASTA SAUCE?⁠
⁠
For me nothing beats this FRESHLY MADE VEGAN PESTO! Also, not gonna lie, sometimes I literally just dip bread/crisps into it and.. DOWN THE HATCH!⁠
⁠
CAN TOUR FAVE PASTA SAUCE DO THAT???⁠
⁠
TAP THE LINK IN MY BIO FOR THE RECIPE!
NEW RECIPE - VEGAN GARLIC BUTTER ROLLS⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Well wouldya wrap your eyeballs around this charmingly UGLY BUNCH OF MISFITS?? Bits popping out where they shouldn't, some a little more tanned than others, but you know what? They are the MOST DELICIOUS things I've baked in a LONG time. ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
I mean it. Like, I genuinely couldn't leave them alone. Husband ate those top three fellas. The rest I nailed. And I'm proud. ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
GET THE RECIPE - TAP THE LINK IN MY BIO!⁠⁠
⁠⁠
#vegan #veganbaking #vegangarlicbutterrolls #veganchef #garlicbutter #garlicbutterrolls #vegancomfortfood #comfortfood
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2021 School Night Vegan on the Foodie Pro Theme